I have always heard they can’t read our minds, well From the very beginning of our relationship I made my wants and needs known. Now, there were times I may have just mentioned it in passing or threw hints out there but I made it known what I needed. I still didn’t get what I ask for! So what did I do, instead of being a nagging wife or getting upset with him, I did these things myself. For example… the things I’m talking about is romance, special time, dates etc…things to keep our love alive.
So what did I do? I planned romantic nights or weekends away and sometimes I would call ahead and order the romance package, rose petals, chocolate covered strawberries and cider (I didn’t drink back then) it would be waiting in the room for us when we arrived. There were times when I brought these things with me and set it up myself. There were also times I planned romantic settings for nights in at the house.
So now after Dday these things really hurt me, I feel stupid for going out of my way so much just to be cheated on and I am having a hard time not thinking of it and letting it go. I feel I did so much to keep us going, when he didn’t put much effort in it at all and maybe I should have seen that as a red flag but at the time I just figured he wasn’t one of those romantic guys and didn’t know how to be romantic.
I keep thinking that if there was ever an excuse or reason to cheat, I had much more reason to cheat than he did. He couldn’t put in a little xtra effort for our love life but he could put all that effort into another woman! All the lying, planning, and sneaking around, that took effort!
Damn his ass!
This is the aftermath of his affair! Things I have come to realize with time, things I didn’t realize in the beginning. This is one of the many things I am dealing with and trying to process after his affair, I have wrote about many of the other things too and it usually helps to lay it down here.
There is just so much to affairs, so much aftermath that we have to deal with, it isn’t just “oh ok you had an affair and I need to forgive and move on” there are so many layers to this shit! I know the day will come when I have processed through all the things like this, it will get better! 🙂