Drinking 🍹


Before DDay I never drank, the last time I had alcohol I was in my very early 20s right before I met my H and I hadn’t had a drink since, until DDay, I went out that night and had several beers!

After that  I started drinking pretty regularly. There was a spell where I drank almost everyday, at least a couple of drinks to knock the edge off. In the beginning it really helped, it actually worked! I could have a few mixed drinks or several beers…it took several beers for me to get a little tipsy. I think I have a high tolerance for alcohol even tho I don’t drink 😱

But I could get a little tipsy and I felt sooo much better! My mind would stop racing, I would stop thinking about the affair, I would be in a good mood and I could sleep at night! If I didn’t have a few drinks one night, I couldn’t sleep and all I would think about was his affair and what he had done to me and our family. So I drank almost every evening for a long time. I guess almost 3 years. I came to realize this was not healthy and I needed to stop drinking and depending on alcohol to feel better. So I started cutting way back and the last two years I have drank very little, just when I have had a REALLY bad day or I am just tired of all the bullshit and I want to be happy and in a better mood.

But lately I am thinking of starting drinking again 🤪 Hey whatever works right!!

From what I hear it’s no different than taking the anxiety medicines that the doctors prescribe for shit like this.


3 thoughts on “Drinking 🍹

  1. I made a point not to drink at all after I kicked Carol out. I knew I was numb with shock and that drinking would bring out some intense feelings. I finally drank a month later when her and I hung out instead of working on our separation agreement. I used to drink a lot when I was younger. It would get me into trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why allow someones bad deeds push you into a place of self harm? It seems to me he is then damaging you twice over. I was determined not to let my H’s shit to get me on any other level. I find if you face it, you learn to defend your mind and heart against it over time. Shed the tears, work through the anxiety. Read books, self help….


    1. Apparently your idea of self harm is much different then mine…there is nothing wrong with a drink now and then…cutting myself open is self harm to me…that I am fighting and not doing so drinking wins!


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